Great and Weak and In Between
by The Leaf 180
Summary: Kakashi wonders if there's an alternate universe out there somewhere where he is weak and proud instead of strong and cardboard. Gai wonders if Kakashi could one day find an unbreakable peace he knows he deserves.


_Walking_

When Kakashi needs a change of scenery, (which isn't a lot of the time, but sometimes) he takes walks, not for the peace and quiet, since Konoha is severely lacking in that department – but that he can see that familiar face of his sensei from where ever he might be in the village

_Waltz_

When he was younger, Kakashi used to feel jealousy at how easily people like Obito or Gai could waltz their way into people's hearts, while he was shied away and never had a chance to; but now Obito is dead, he cannot sense any remnants of such a feeling.

_Wishes_

Gai wants many things; He wants to hold onto his youth, he wants to teach his team to his full extent, and he wants to keep his precious people safe. He also wishes that Kakashi could one day find an unbreakable peace he knows he deserves.

_Wonder_

As annoying as Gai could be, Kakashi can still admit - and is almost somewhat grateful - that when he first witnesses the child prodigy fight, there is a look of wonder and envy on his face, instead of the normal look of fear he's starting to get used to.

_Worry_

When Kakashi was younger, he had a different set of values. Instead of worrying about grades like the other students, Kakashi hopes he doesn't injure too many people and of course, while other students are looking for love, he only looks for a way to successfully play his part in the war.

_Whimsy_

He wonders what he would be doing if he wasn't cursed with his genius; he could have been a business man, could have been a chef, could have been an author like Jiraiya - but there are too many coulds and even more nevers, and so he stops thinking about fanciful things that will never be.

_Warrior_

The moment after he steps into the sight of his victim, - purposely, he might add - he slowly reveals his Kanata (which then glints from the murderous look in his eye), and he knows the trembling man in front of him is definitely going to regret crossing him, if he doesn't already.

_War_

He drags himself home for the countless time; it's become a routine. The nurses know him, and the people on guard duty know him too. He's the only one that comes back. They know, they can feel it in their bones. If it wasn't a war before, it definitely is now, and he knows that no matter how long the battle wages, he's never going to wave the white flag.

_Weary_

He doesn't know why he can't shake the weariness from his bones. He doesn't know why can't stand to see his gaunt face in the mirror along with an eye that isn't his. He wonders, if there's an alternate universe out there somewhere where Kakashi is weak and proud instead of strong and cardboard.

_Birthday_

Gai somehow scientifically deducts that if Kakashi gets drunk, it'll help him relax - so when his birthday rolls around and they both go drinking for the night; and in the end he's both in pain and black and blue and disappointed that his theory will forever stay a hypotheses.

_Blessing_

If - and this is a huge if - Kakashi ever does find the girl of his dreams, he knows it would be a huge ordeal just trying to get approval from her parents; and so, he sighs and gets back into the mindset that he's pretty much screwed.

_Books_

Kakashi doesn't particularly like reading, but it's the only way that people will leave him alone, whether it's because of exactly what he's reading or the fact that hes reading at all, he doesn't know. Just as long as people leave him alone, they can whispers words like _pervert_ all they want.

_Burning_

Though hatred burns a trail through his veins at the very mention of Hatake Sakumo, there's something else there - pity, because while Kakashi was shunned for his father's action, his father had it much worse, and Kakashi came out stronger in the end.

_Breathing_

The way his body moves when fighting is so easy and so natural that it comes as easy as taking in oxygen; and though no one really wants to stop breathing, this isn't the first time he's entertained the thought.

_Breaking_

He's shattered and fractured and broken too many bones for the number to possibly be normal, and although he despises the looks of pity and curiosity that's always on all the nurses' faces, he supposes that he doesn't really blame them for being curious and appalled.

_Babies_

Kakashi does not like children; he especially does not like babies. The way that their pudgy fat fingers can grow strong and firm, that their adorable round faces can grow hard and mean, that their soft big heart can grow bitter and twisted, it scares Kakashi to the slightest, especially because he used to look like that at one time and look at what happened to him.

_Balcony_

Honestly, Gai can't remember exactly how many times he's brought up romance and youth to Kakashi - he also can't exactly remember how many times Kakashi has threatened to throw him off the balcony afterwards.

_Bane_

Other than the number one problem a young Kakashi can think of (that wears stupid orange goggles and cries excessively ), the second most troublesome issue is when he goes to his fridge to find some ramen - and discovers it's all expired.

_Quiet_

Silence is golden, in Kakashi's book - but he's never seen gold rust and tarnish before until Gai pops up in that eternally annoying way of his, with those energetic words that make the peace in him deteriorate.

_Quirks_

Gai has known Kakashi and worked alongside him long enough to notice the tiny, tell-tale signs that he's about to hand someone their ass on a platter - and while any attempts to calm him after seeing said signs fail, he still considers this useful information, and a good explanation of how he's avoided having that happen to him.

_Question_

"How are you doing, Kakashi?" Asuma asks him after they run into each other on the street; and there's many things that Kakashi could say - pissed off, lonely, depressed - none of which that match the answer of "Fine." that he gives him.

_Quarrel_

For being the fighter he is, he isn't truly sure if he's ever been in a full-fledged quarrel - after all, nobody dares argue with him for fear of their lives, and Obito never argued, just disagreed and challenged; sometimes he wonders what it would be like for someone to have the guts to actually do so.

_Quitting_

In retrospect, Kakashi thinks he might as well save his money and health and stop being a ninja for all the hospital bills that pile up; why keep going when there are plenty of other young kids willing to take the lead? He doesn't know if he can step down. He doesn't know if he can stop killing, it's all he's ever known.

_Jump_

Kakashi can grudgingly admit he picked up Taijutsu skills from watching the Gai train, and he's mastered the art just as well as he has - but he likes to think (and is pretty confident) that he makes it look cooler than Gai does.

_Jester_

Kakashi does not appreciate being made out as an idiot, as the Obito had often tried to do; especially after he makes a small mistake. He's human after all; it really isn't fair, either, since the Uchiha is much more suited to the title of professional fool - in his own esteemed opinion, at least.

_Jousting_

They don't live in medieval times or anything, but Kakashi and his eternal rival find themselves jousting quite often; except neither have a horse, he wields an orange clad book instead of a lance, Gai's stout arm and fist doesn't have near enough length to be considered one - and the crowd is usually running away to give them room instead of cheering in nonexistent stands.

_Jewel_

Sometimes Kakashi's mind wanders back to the female part of his team as a kid; he remembers her somewhat fondly, that she was some sort of gem surrounded by the rough of the war - and though he guiltily tries to quell the next thoughts that come after, it doesn't work; and maybe, he thinks, its better that way.

_Just_

Maybe he's not on the right side of the law, considering all the damage he causes - but even so, he's just in his own way; he keeps to his own rules, listens to his own brand of reason (which is what gets him in trouble in the first place), and to people that know him, they'd probably say that he is one of the most genuine people they know.

_Smile_

Perhaps his one eyed smile is make-shift and sometimes not nearly enough to pass as a smile, but it'll have to do, he's got to work with what he has after all.

_Sorrow_

He's no stranger to sadness; no, you might even be able to say they're good friends - but what separates him from everyone else is the way that you'd never be able to tell behind that indifferent, cool face of his that he so often wears.

_Stupidity_

Okay, so maybe he's the brightest bulb in the box, especially compared to someone like Gai; but what he lacks in knowledge he can make up for in the bit of tact he has, Kakashi thinks as he watches Sakura deliver another wince-inducing jab to Naruto's gut.

_Serenade_

He really, really wishes that everyone would stop making jokes about his drunken performance at karaoke the other night; he's growing increasingly tired of it, and to be honest, he isn't exactly fond of the picture Anko has drawn of him singing to Gai.

_Sarcasm_

"Obito, I didn't know you cared so much!" Kakashi responds when Obito throws the first thing he can get his hands on at the annoying boy - it just so happens that the first thing he grabs is a small flower pot of red roses.

_Sordid_

Conversation (Which becomes one-sided, because Kakashi's trying to read) between the two eternal rivals suddenly becomes a sordid affair when giggling Ten-Ten rushes to the table, babbling, and all Kakashi can see amidst the flashes is red - for two reasons - they're interrupting his reading, and he doesn't appreciate them asking if they are in a gay relationship in the least.

_Soliloquy_

"Woe is me! - why am I faced with such a task of dealing with an uncivilized idiot all the time?" Kakashi wants to proclaim in a rather Shakespearean manner to himself, in which Gai will ever so kindly interrupts his brilliant soliloquy with a reply about his youth or something along those lines.

_Sojourn_

He's played around with the idea of moving somewhere, somewhere far where he won't be bothered; but he knows that would only end up being temporary, because he thinks Konoha might be the only place where he's somewhat accepted - even if he's only accepted as some absurd legend.

_Share_

Kakashi's eating lunch at the park, and in front of the bench is that pitiful looking dog he sees from time to time; he sighs and holds out a piece, and he finds the tiniest smile comes over his face when the canine does not retreat.

_Solitary_

He's not quite sure when he feels lonelier, but he thinks it might be the daytime - because being surrounded by hundreds of people and still feeling utterly alone manages to make him feel even worse than coming home to an empty apartment.

_Nowhere_

As he dodges a punch from Gai as they square off, he has enough sense through that adrenaline pumped haze to know that every fight, every encounter of theirs is a road can lead only to nowhere. Who's keeping score?

_Neutral_

Gai knows how important work is to his rival, that he loves his job in the ANBU regardless of the time he has to invest into it; and though he would rather die before he took that away from him, his heart still clenches when he thinks of the calm, blank canvas of a face that he never gets to see anymore.

_Nuance_

The switch in his moods can be almost imperceptible at times; it might be the twitch of a brow, fingers trembling on the spine of a book, the muted sound of grinding teeth - but no matter how subtle these signs are, the following actions are anything but.

_Near_

A word of caution to any tourists or newcomers to Konoha; if you see an man in a green jumpsuit and a cry for a challenge and something about youth; there is a 99.9% chance that Maito Gai is in the vicinity, and Hatake Kakashi is the victim.

_Natural_

It seems that his tardiness was a bad habit to fall into, but it's gone on for so long that he doesn't know if he even wants to change it anymore. It's become a part of him, along with silver hair and an iridescent book.

_Hands_

The copy ninja was never one to be self-conscious, (He would have dyed his hair long ago is he was) But he has his reasons for wearing gloves over his hands, Fashion not being one of them. Maybe it's the calloused, scarred and knobby hands that he doesn't want to see, maybe it's the memories that each scar holds.

_Valiant_

Kakashi is nothing, if not brave - however, this is arguably up for dispute, perhaps by himself; because even if he is undaunted and unafraid of everything, he's terribly scared inside at the same time.

_Virtuous_

He may not be the mostly saintly man in Konoha, but he's still a notch above the rest; because when he spots trouble stirring up or something that rubs against his principles the wrong way - instead of being like all the other unseeing citizens of the city, he will do something about it.

_Victory_

Every once in a while, Gai fails to dodge whatever punch Kakashi deems good enough to throw at him - there's something about the image of the green jounin flying backwards and lying sprawled out on the ground that gives him a total sense of satisfaction.

_Defeat_

He cannot remember a time in which he has ever lost a fight; and although he's practically invincible, the Copy ninja of the Leaf - still, he has lost so much, lost some things he thinks he's never had in the first place.

_Some are great, some are weak_

_I'm somewhere in between_


End file.
